aviation & pilot jokes

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i came across this site;  aviation humour website, and i love it.  i’m quite familiar with some aviation terms and jargon which i learnt from charming in his daily conversation about his work.

here i extract some of the jokes which i think it’s quite interesting:

ATC: “Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? ”
Cessna: “To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.
ATC: “I meant in the next five minutes not years.”

***

(Heard on the radio – Really )
Cessna: “Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.”
Tower: “Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!”
Cessna: “Uh…tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is.”

***

Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it’s OK. He’s not hungry.
(my note:  B747 being a ‘macho guy’ a.k.a the beast! 😉  )

***

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”

***

One day a radar controller did a mistake in sequencing the traffic for landing, he let a Boeing 747 as number 2 behind a Cessna 172, as it looks very wierd, the B747 started to get closer to the Cessna, the controller instructed the captain of B747 to slow down 180 kts, captain did comply, after a while the controller instructed again the B747 to slow down to 160 knots, few moments later, the controller asked the captain of B747 to slow down to 130 kts! the captain asked the controller:
Capt: do you know at which speed does 747 stall?
contrl: I’m sorry…no idea…you can ask the co-pilot !

***

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR

***

fyi, i’m an aircraft enthusiast and my fave guy is B747 😉

xoxo