poem by ex-indonesian president, B.J Habibie

Sebenarnya ini bukan tentang kematianmu, bukan itu. Karena, aku tahu bahwa semua yang ada pasti menjadi tiada pada akhirnya, dan kematian adalah sesuatu yang pasti, dan kali ini adalah giliranmu untuk pergi, aku sangat tahu itu.

Tapi yang membuatku tersentak sedemikian hebat, adalah kenyataan bahwa kematian benar-benar dapat memutuskan kebahagiaan dalam diri seseorang, sekejap saja, lalu rasanya mampu membuatku menjadi nelangsa setengah mati, hatiku seperti tak di tempatnya, dan tubuhku serasa kosong melompong, hilang isi.

Kau tahu sayang, rasanya seperti angin yang tiba-tiba hilang berganti kemarau gersang. Pada airmata yang jatuh kali ini, aku selipkan salam perpisahan panjang, pada kesetiaan yang telah kau ukir, pada kenangan pahit manis selama kau ada. Aku bukan hendak megeluh, tapi rasanya terlalu sebentar kau disini.

Mereka mengira aku lah kekasih yang baik bagimu sayang, tanpa mereka sadari, bahwa kaulah yang menjadikan aku kekasih yang baik. Mana mungkin aku setia padahal memang kecenderunganku adalah mendua, tapi kau ajarkan aku kesetiaan, sehingga aku setia, kau ajarkan aku arti cinta, sehingga aku mampu mencintaimu seperti ini.

Selamat jalan, Kau dari-Nya, dan kembali pada-Nya, kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada.
Selamat jalan sayang, cahaya mataku, penyejuk jiwaku,
Selamat jalan, calon bidadari surgaku ….

B.J. Habibie
ex-indonesian president

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xoxo

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as i wish upon a star

Lying on my bed,

Couldn’t close my eyes,

I couldn’t stand this pain,

I couldn’t hold these lies,

Since I saw you in every corner of my view,

Swallow all my pride and ego, yes,

I miss you…

Walking to my door,

Try to walk out from this pain,

Staring at the moon with the feelings remain,

Yet still I see u everywhere,

Still unchangeable,

Eternity, infinity,

Till I leave this world…

Ahh… Lord, let him forever be by my side,

Then I look up to the sky,

With my hands holding tight,

Still I feel alone, in this glimmering night,

But all my pain gone, when the star shining so bright,

As I stand here,

AS I WISH UPON A STAR,

I close my eyes wishing you were here,

Even you are still so far…

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xoxo

dear Charming, i’ll see you in heaven

dear God,

when You took him away
on that fateful day,
i felt so abused
i was aggrevated
i was weak
i’d slipped into the sea of a greatness pain
and alone drowned deep down in a sadness
being trapped into the hole of darkness
thought i’d never make it
when You took him away…

but it is enough for me
to feel Your Supreme in Greatness
by taking him away from me,
enough for me to understand
that You are the Withholder
make me bend on my knee
make me believe that You are The Causer of Death
and The Restorer of Life
make me surrender all my grieves to You
and cry in my words of prayers
when You took him away from me…

dear God,

no matter how long will it takes,
please let me be with him
one fine day
in heaven

dear God
please no matter how i have wronged
and sinned to You
please dear God,
The Most Compassionate,
The Most Beneficent,
The Most Gracious,
please let me see him
forever in the heaven.

dear God
please no matter what trials
You have for me in the future
for my future
please dear God,
The Creator,
The Maker,
The Bestower,
The Reckoner,
please let me find him
the moment i set my foot
in the door of heaven…

dear God,
no matter what You have gave me
i’m still thankful to You
because i’m a servant of Yours…

once upon a time, charming and his princess..

once upon a time, charming and his princess..

when you are no where to be seen

this life, this kind of life
to me is rough.

i wake up every morning with a thought of you,
not thinking about your routine, not about your whereabout,
but a thought of us
during those time.

and i come to bed every night,
after i survived the day once again without you,
but still – with a thought of you,
not be able to grab my phone to call you,
to wish you goodnight or to text you a sweet dream.

when you are not around,
my simple life becomes a struggle to me.

when you are no where to be seen,
i’m taking my breath of many sighs.

when you are no where to be seen,
my heart pulses with miseries.

when you are no where to be seen,
my excitement has lost its adrenaline.

but that time,
when you were around,
i found ease in the most difficult time,
i felt hope even when everything was drifting away from me…