4th april around the world, across the time

i just randomly “googled” for 4th april images, just checking out what kind of occasions had take place on the date of charming’s departure.  here’s what i’ve found:

4thaprilbigchase

wow.  a partay.

wow. a partay.

wow. like almost 70 years ago..?!

wow. like almost 70 years ago..?!

4th april is actually; also a comic..!

4th april is actually; also a comic..!

a gig!

a gig!

easter haa!

easter haa!

4th april on wednesday means last year...

4th april on wednesday means last year…

skate comps!

skate comps!

friday 4th april??  tahun biler lak nih?

friday 4th april?? tahun biler lak nih?

owh wow. sort of solidarity happened over here...

owh wow. sort of solidarity happened over here…

aww.

aww.

TITANIC?  Wow.

TITANIC? Wow.

dunno what is this. but okay, this year.

dunno what is this. but okay, this year.

awwh. i'm sorry u have to go during dis launch. but i'm sure u were glad to go, darling...

awwh. i’m sorry u have to go during dis launch. but i’m sure u were glad to go, darling…

wisconsin cause.

wisconsin cause.

these are all the things happened before/on the day of charming’s departure…  and i’m still counting the day that i continue breathing without him by my side.  Well, it’s been 214 day by now…

dear charming, i love you.

i miss you a lot.  like… alot 😦

xoxo

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a stuck mind

i actually have so many things on my mind.  so many things to write.  but i’m just stucked.  

i have post about pets which is still pending, and one post that i write a letter to charming…  plus another post that i intend to write about self-help.  but my mind is not working properly enough to generate ideas and sentences.  i dunno why.  i think i’ve got a stucked mind.  too many things got entangled inside. 

missing him
yes, i am so badly.  

i have nothing else to say.

dear charming, would you come and meet me in my dream like before...? ;(

dear charming, would you come and find me in my dream like before…? ;(

xoxo

birthday 2013

i’m back blogging!

it’s been like a couple of weeks already after my super busy week!  we had this vessel launching in rotterdam and i was the focal point of contact between KL – rotterdam team.  and last week was my birthday and i went on leave for the whole week…  actually i don’t want any celebration for my birthday this year.  i told (WARNED actually)  to my fave girls that i don’t want anything for this year.  not even a birthday wish… but being my best fren, they still wished, but in a different tone…

sharmini @ 0031hrs
hi gurl… i know u r very sad… 😦  i know u r suffering… but i’ve nothing to say gurl…  coz i know nothing can make u feel better… i dun even know should i wish u or not… but maybe i should just keep quiet…  
be strong… don’t think too much… go sleep.. the more u think the more u hurt…  pls try sleep early yea… 
by the way, remember…  im here with u, gurl…  don’t worry… all be fine… anything just let me know…  just try to be stronger..  charming will never wanna see u very down at this time…  take care yea… nites…

ms. hals @ 0051hrs
pray harder to Allah SWT girl…  be strong…  luv u…

well, yeah.  it never been easy for me.  living life without him is hard, let alone when it comes to special occasion like this.  anyhow, i REALLY love one of his birthday wishes that he sent to me thru SMS two years back:

“happy birthday, princess.  i love you.  don’t worry, you will age gracefully.”

he always told me that.

i don’t wanna feel special on my birthday on 22nd sept last week.  to me, no one can make it special for me.  but that was when nana my niece managed to cheer me up and made me smile!  she sent two voice messages thru whatsapp!  (too bad i can’t copy those in to here!)  the first message goes like:
hello aunty…!  and in the second message, she sang a birthday song for me!  sooo cute..!!  😀 and right after her mom sent the voice messages, she (the mom) told me that nana wanted to do a video call with me…  i think she’s too cute and so sweeeetttt!!! ^___^

well.  i’ve made my birthday wish.  silently in my prayer.  i know i can’t live forever, but i wanna live timelessly.  i hope i will survive days in my life without charming.  because i wanna catch him up in heaven.

insya Allah.  God’s willing.

Amen.

happy birthday to me

happy birthday to me

xoxo